The Cups Runneth Over
by JordanPhoenix
Summary: Sexy single dad Phoenix figures that since he's braved the insane DILF debacle, as well the Pardon My Sobbing 1st visit from Mother Nature, his papa perils with puberty are now over. WRONG! The dreaded day has come when teenage Trucy needs Daddy to buy her FIRST over the shoulder boulder holders! How will Nick handle BRAS, ANOTHER Butz visit, AND a mortifyingly FAMILIAR salesgirl?
_"Stupidity is a talent for misconception"_

* * *

 _A/N: Did you really think Phoenix's misadventures in fatherhood were over? I don't know why I get such sadistic pleasure out of torturing my favorite guy, but I know I was snickering my BUTZ off writing this final puberty peril featuring the horrors of Nick having to buy Trucy her first bra as my last installment of Phoenix's struggles of being a Papa! Enjoy!_

 _ **Cover Art by**_ _**cut (bu-kunn)**_

* * *

 **Chapter Fifty-Six: The Cups Runneth Over**

 _ **Phoenix Wright and Trucy Wright  
**_ _Wright Talent Agency_  
October 13, 2024 4:14 pm

Despite being dragged back to earth about his not-so-ideal loss of badge situation and Kristoph Gavin admittedly being the most likely cause of it, Phoenix's overall outlook about life was still positive for the most part. Pertaining to fatherhood, in comparison, he was downright chipper, as Trucy was, for the most part, a parent's dream as a daughter.

After the infamous dual destinies that had simultaneously ricocheted both Pearls and Trucy into womanhood under his very roof, somehow, Phoenix had foolishly convinced himself he had _done his due time_. He'd assumed he'd successfully surpassed all the embarrassing hardships of fatherhood now that his little girl was 13, and that the most traumatic of it was over.

Once again, he _really_ needed to stop assuming!

It wasn't as though Phoenix was _intentionally_ being naïve about the strife that came with being the single parent of a young girl. He'd known it wouldn't be _easy;_ had even checked out parenting articles online, in hopes of getting some better fatherly insight – along with some very effective _brain bleach_ sites to _erase_ both the mortifying _DILF_ and _PMS_ incidents shortly thereafter!

Overall, he'd prided himself _somewhat_ for having dealt with the _sexy_ at the pool debacle and double period fiascos with _some_ level of aplomb. Therefore, as Trucy veered into adolescence, Phoenix figured he now could take a slight step back, as the worst of it all had passed, and just reap the rewards of having raised a well-behaved, overall happy daughter. A little girl who, although teetering on the brink of womanhood – now that he'd mastered the fine art of nodding, smiling, and staying the _hell_ out of her way when Nature's Fury reared its ugly monthly head! – was still generally mature, helpful and delightfully low-maintenance, her voracious growing appetite notwithstanding!

Just how _wrong_ could a person be?! The _worst_ , it seemed, was _yet_ to _come_!

"Daddy, I need to talk to you," Trucy told him nervously, for once barely pecking at her after school snack, which she normally demolished in seconds.

A frown creased his forehead. He'd tried his hand at baking some blueberry muffins lately, which his daughter claimed she loved. He had been confident that since he'd finally mastered the art of pancakes, (after the _first_ _dozen_ had been written off at as charred Frisbees) muffins would be the next step – and while his initial attempts had been _dryer than chalk dust_ and/or _overly hardened hockey pucks_ , he'd been confident that this latest batch was at least _edible_.

Therefore, why had she left his latest attempt at creativity – a blueberry lemon muffin – go completely untouched?

 _Oh dear Lord don't tell me_ _ **another**_ _one of her teachers was saying inappropriate things about me_ _ **again**_ _!_ He thought frantically. _Do I need her to send her to a Catholic school taught by actual_ _ **nuns**_ _and pray the_ _ **pious sisters**_ _at_ _Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow_ _will at least demonstrate conduct that is more appropriate?!_

"What is it, Truce?" He asked wearily. "You can talk to me about anything, you know that."

 _My_ _ **insides**_ _may_ _ **quell**_ _at hearing some of those things, but it_ _ **is**_ _my parental duty to grin and bear it after all…_

"Well, we've started co-ed gym this year…" Trucy mumbled, absently breaking off a piece of muffin top and popping it into her mouth, not looking at him in the eye. "And we were playing volleyball against the boys…and lately, it's been kind of _hurting_ me whenever I've had to jump up for the ball, you know? And my gym uniform has been becoming kind of tight lately…"

Phoenix cast a quick, appraising eye at his tiny daughter's rail-thin form in surprise. Had he somehow shrunken her clothes in the wash? She didn't appear to have gained even a pound as far as _he_ could tell…

"Um…in my _chest_ area, Daddy," she finished, her voice barely above a whisper as her cheeks turned pink. "It really hurt today when the ball hit me there…the gym teacher told me to tell you that I need to get a bra."

 _A bra?!_

Phoenix cleared his throat uncomfortably and fought back the urge to smack himself in the forehead for being so completely _daft_ and blind. Of _course_ , his baby girl was growing up! Why hadn't he thought of this before?

Because he was a single father and…Trucy hadn't exactly come with a _manual_?

In addition, there were few people he could consult about this without sounding like some sort of creepy _weirdo_. The Gumshoes, after all, had a _son_ , and Tyler's twin girls were only in kindergarten. Sure, Maya was guardian to Pearls, but exactly _how_ was he supposed to ask if little Pearls was _wearing a bra yet_ and if so, _for how long_?!

"Don't worry about it, baby girl," he replied. "We'll take you shopping at Lordly Tailor tonight for whatever you need. Uncle Larry is coming to take us out to dinner, and he can drive us to the store right after."

"I can't shop tonight, Daddy," Trucy reminded him. "After dinner, I need to get to work at the Wonder Bar."

"Oops, I forgot Truce. Sorry, at my old age, it's hard to keep track of my _own_ work schedule, never mind _yours_!" Phoenix flashed a sheepish grin. "Did you want to go shopping maybe tomorrow night? No wait, _I'm_ working then…" His forehead creased as he mentally ran over the rest of the week.

"Daddy, you're so silly! You're not _that_ old!" Trucy giggled. "But I have gym class every day, and it's going to be so uncomfortable for me to participate unless I get some sort of… _support_ , you know? Do you think maybe you and Uncle Larry could get one for me tonight?"

 _Ugh!_ Phoenix moaned inwardly. _I was hoping she_ _ **wouldn't**_ _say that!_

He'd never gone bra shopping in his _life_ , not even with a girlfriend. And thanks to Maggey's gargantuan Costco supply of feminine products the year before, despite being reluctantly schooled in the matter, he'd _still_ not yet needed to pick up any embarrassing _monthly_ _necessities_ for his daughter as of yet.

Nevertheless, it looked life was only going to let him play dodge ball with mortification for only so long…

 _Should I ask Maggey to come along? Nah, I'll be fine! I bought her roller skates before._ _ **Ladies'**_ _skates, too! How hard could a_ _bra_ _be?_

"Of course we can, baby girl," Phoenix reassured her, forcing a smile. "I'm sure Uncle Larry won't mind at all!"

 _Mostly, because I'm not exactly going to give him a_ _ **choice**_ _!  
_

* * *

 _ **Phoenix Wright and Larry Butz**_ _  
Lordly Tailor Department Store_  
October 14, 2024 6:30 pm

"I thought you hated shopping Nick," Larry said as they entered the doors of the large, multi-level department store. "What did you need to buy?"

"Nothing for _me_ in particular," Phoenix hedged, smiling as Adrian Andrews walked up to them, a friendly smile on her lovely face.

"Are we here for a gift for a _special someone_?" Larry asked slyly, nudging him discreetly in the side, carefully refraining from mentioning any _particular names_.

"Well, I _am_ here to pick up something for a _very special_ little lady."

"I should have figured as much, since you made me drive you to the fanciest and most expensive department store in all of Los Angeles!"

Phoenix ignored the comment and smiled pleasantly at the pretty blonde, who was still as immaculately groomed as ever; dark blonde topknot and wire-rim glasses over warm brown eyes, which were now regarding him with curiosity and surprise as eventual recognition in his hobo attire dawned on her.

"Phoenix Wright, is that _you_?"

"In the flesh, Adrian," he grinned.

"Well stranger, long time no see!" She exclaimed, reaching over and giving him an unexpected, effusive hug, before doing to the same to Larry, who looked as happy as pup with two tails being near an attractive female. "Larry, it's so nice to see you too! What are you guys doing here?"

"Every six years or so I figure you're owed a visit," Phoenix joked. "I figured I was due a quick check to see if you had any more special exhibits in motion? I'm partial to the _mystical variety_ , as you know."

"Yes, because the last one _wasn't_ a complete unmitigated disaster, right?" She laughed. "By the way, how is Maya doing? She's got that urn in a safer place now, I should hope?"

"She's just fine, I expect," Phoenix replied serenely, his poker face betraying nothing. "She left about five years ago to become master of her village, but appears to be doing quite well, from what her cousin Pearl tells us. She and my daughter, Trucy are best friends, and the two get together whenever she comes down to the city to visit."

"A _daughter_?" While decorum had kept her from bringing up anything concerning his disbarring, Adrian was unable to conceal her stunned reaction to this news. "H – How nice…um, when did you get married?"

"He's not married," Larry intervened, never one to enjoy not partaking in conversation, even ones with naught to do with him. "Nick here is a single Papa."

" _Single_?" Adrian pushed her glasses up her nose and gave a shy, appreciative smile. "I can't imagine _why_! Phoenix, I didn't think it was possible, but you look like you've gotten even _more_ fit since the last time I saw you. Working out really seems to agree with you!"

Phoenix blushed at the unexpected compliment and shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. Apparently, Trucy's _horny teachers_ had been correct about the fact that his bulky sweat suit didn't hide the results of his daily jogging or exercising whatsoever!

"Thanks, Adrian," he murmured bashfully. "Actually, that's the reason we're here. I need to pick up something for my daughter. Can you tell us where the girl's department is?"

"Well, children's clothing is on the second floor…"

"Oops, sorry. I should have clarified, Trucy is 13. Definitely not in kids clothing anymore, heh heh."

"She's _13_?" Adrian repeated, her eyes widening as she did the mental math. "Um, I didn't know you had a daughter when I saw you last? You must have had her when you were a _teenager_ then?"

"Trucy's adopted," Larry offered, deciding to put the poor woman out of her misery with all these bombshells. "Cute as a button, really."

"Oh, _I see_." Adrian was all smiles again. "Well then, you need the Junior Miss department, which is next to ladies wear on the third floor level."

"Is that where they have the…" Phoenix wracked his mind for the right word. " _Underclothing garments_ as well?"

"It is indeed. Happy shopping, you two. See you around."

"See you later, Adrian," Phoenix waved as she walked off, just as Larry looked at his friend in alarm as he digested what he'd just said.

" _Underclothing garments_?" The artist echoed, his eyes panicked eyes bulging out of his skull. "You didn't tell me we were shopping for _that_ , Nick!"

"You didn't ask." Phoenix shrugged, nonchalantly yanking his friend's shirt and tugging him towards the escalators.

" _Nuh-uh_! _No way_ , José!" Larry struggled to pull himself free from Phoenix's clasp. "You _already_ coerced me to endure that whole _dueling cyclone_ that was Trucy and Pearl last year, and _then_ forced me to stick around – only to get _insulted by Maggey_! – during that whole lecture on _things with wings_ …but _this_ is just too much!" He wrestled free and shook his head, already starting to walk downwards on the ascending escalator. " _This_ is where I draw the line!"

Without warning, Phoenix stepped down and easily grabbed the back of Larry's collar, as though he were a scruffy dog, and jerked him back up next to him again on the moving stairway, ignoring the other man's choking gasps of protests as he did so.

"Nick! _Stawp_! I can't _breathe_!"

Phoenix relaxed his grasp enough to allow Larry oxygen but maintained his tenacious grip.

"If you want to breathe, all you need to do is stop struggling, Larry," he said calmly as they reached the second floor landing and took the next escalator headed upwards to the third floor. "You know, _you're_ the one who makes these things unnecessarily hard on _yourself_."

"And _you're_ the one who makes _unnecessary use of those muscles_ Adrian was admiring!" Larry scowled as Phoenix released him and rubbed his poor, abused windpipe. "Talk about your _abuse of strength_ , you big bully!"

"This isn't exactly _my_ ideal way to spend one of the rare evenings you're in town either, Larry." Phoenix shrugged again, but this time flashed an impish grin. "In fact, I'm sure on the _excruciating_ scale, _this_ will be an experience that _rivals_ last year's, which I look forward to about as much as _a month in the dentist's chair_! However, you _are_ my _oldest_ pal…and what is it they say? Buddies who _suffer_ together, _stay_ together?"

"Well then _this incident_ should take us through to our _golden years_ ," Larry grumbled as they arrived at their destination floor and looked around. "Look, there's the Junior Miss area in the far corner, can we just hurry up and get this over with already?"

"I have no desire to prolong this either, you know." Phoenix strode over to the section and then peered further into the aisle, in search of the underwear section. "The sooner we find Trucy her training bra, the sooner we can leave."

"And then hopefully participate in a somewhat _less emasculating_ activity, like playing pool or going for beers, I hope!" Larry flipped through some of the neatly stacked boxes on display and looked up questioningly at his friend. "I don't even know what I'm looking for here, Nick! What size is Trucy?"

" _Size_?" He echoed blankly.

"Yeah, Nick! You know… her _cup_ size? Of her _bra_?"

"Howdy y'all. Can I give ya fellas a hand?"

 _No way!_ Phoenix froze at the sound of the familiar voice behind him. _It_ _ **can't**_ _be! God_ _ **couldn't**_ _hate me that much!_

Yet when the blushing former defense attorney turned around, standing there, this time, _fully clothed_ , in a chic navy women's business suit, stood Tiffany Pierce.

Otherwise known to him as the _normally scantily-clad_ , friendly neighborhood waitress at The Borscht Bowl.

 _Oh boy. This is going to be even more harrowing than I thought._ He cast a quick surreptitious glance heavenward and shook his head at the Man upstairs. _You've got_ _ **quite**_ _the sense of the humor, don't you?_

"Um, hey Tiffany," he gulped, his cheeks warm. "Fancy running into _you_ here."

It was _Godsend_ that he _hadn't_ brought Trucy with him! The _last_ thing Phoenix needed was his daughter asking Tiffany if _she_ was going to be her _new Mommy_ , or even worse, ask the bombshell if she thought her _Daddy_ was _se_ xy! He was positive that neither he _n_ _or_ his daughter would be prepared to hear the _potentially_ _traumatizing answer_ to _that line of questioning_!

" _I_ work here Mondays through Wednesday, stud," Tiffany winked. "Although I reckoned this would be the last place _I'd_ be bumping into _yer fine behind_!"

 _Why do I have the inexplicable urge to run away screaming?_

Although he and Tiffany had made peace years ago, and were in friendly enough terms at the bar, Phoenix had always tried to maintain his distance and keep his personal and work life separate from the still slightly too flirtatious blonde. He saw Maya often enough now to make fleeting thoughts of temptation have diminished almost entirely, yet Tiffany's overt sexuality and saucy winks still made him feel a trifle skittish around her.

Right now, Tiffany's heavily made up eyes were giving her colleague the _customary_ _thorough inspection_ , from head to toe, then back up again, before drifting over to Larry, who was still clutching a package with a baby-pink brassiere photo and " _My First Training Bra_ " emblazoned on it, while gawking at her with a thunderstruck expression.

Suddenly, a look of understanding dawned on Tiffany's tanned face, and her full lips curled into a knowing smirk.

"Well, come to think of it, maybe I _shouldn't_ be as about as _confused as a fart in a fan factory_ ," she drawled. "This actually makes things _one helluva lot of sense_ , now that I think of it!" She nodded in approval at the now guilty-looking, flustered Larry, who'd dropped the package back on the table as if it were a hot potato. "Good call, suga. That fo sho wasn't yer color at _all_!"

"Hey!" Larry yelped indignantly. "That wasn't for _me_ ; it was for _Nick_ , here!"

"I'm ain't judging ya, sweetie!" Tiffany tittered and waved her scarlet-tipped hand. "In this here modern day and age, it's no longer considered a sin to be _light in the loafers_! Well, maybe to the Baptist church it is, but this _is_ LA... and we're a far bit away from Birmingham anyway…"

"W-What?" Larry spluttered. "Nick, _say_ something! Tell your friend here that _you and I_ …that _we_ , so totally _are not_ …"

" _Confirmed bachelors_?" Tiffany arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms around her tremendous bosom, which strained against the buttons of her white shirt.

"He's telling the truth, Tiffany." Phoenix at last found his voice. "We were shopping for _me_. Well, not _for me_ , exactly, and then he found that bra and was just inquiring about sizes when you came along…"

"Does your girlfriend know about _this_ side of you?" Tiffany queried, her eyes bright with unabashed interest. "Or is she no longer in the picture? Never did see her come around since that night I met her…am guessing _this_ is what you've upgraded her to?" She gestured to Larry.

"I am _not_ gay!" Phoenix placed his hands on either side of his head and flung them forward with palpable exasperation as he shouted. "And if I _were_ gay, I'd like to think I could do better than _him_!"

" _Objection_! What the hell, Nick? Why you gotta be such a _meanie_?" Larry's lower lip trembled. "That's _way_ harsh man! Just what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Give it a rest, Larry!" Phoenix glared at his friend, who'd magically managed to get _teary-eyed_ over this _ludicrous_ situation! "But for the record, you _don't turn me on_ , alright?"

"It's the _hat_ , isn't it?" Larry wailed, now in full waterworks mode. " _And_ the pink sweater! Admit it! You _hate_ my artist look! _That's_ why you're always yanking at my beret!"

"Oh for crying out loud!" Phoenix groaned. " _Jesus_ , Larry…"

" _Fine_ then, Phoenix Wright!" Larry cried. "See if _I_ ever come bra shopping for _you_ ever again!"

"Not really helping our case here, Larry." Phoenix sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"I reckon ya don't _have_ to be a _fruit smoothie_ to want to dress up like a _fancy man_ ," Tiffany murmured to herself, looking thoughtful. "I hear some fellas just like to gussy up all girly like, in their private time, but still swear that they're _happy as a pig in mud_ when it comes to their wives or girlfriends. Is that the case for yew two folks here? I remember yer gal pal was a tiny little thing, Phoenix, so I guess yew don't fit into her things? Is _that_ why ya'll two are lookin' fer yer own?"

"Tiffany, I'm here for my _daughter_!" Phoenix was exasperated. "Trucy? Remember, you've seen her at the bar once or twice? And for the record, Larry and I are _neither gay nor cross-dressers_!"

"Oh that's right!" Tiffany slapped her halo of platinum curls. "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! I remember her now. Cute as a June bug, that one!"

"Yes, my Trucy." Phoenix was relieved to have finally alleviated that misunderstanding. "Said June bug is 13 now, and we're looking for –"

" _Hell to the no_ I ain't gay, gorgeous!" Larry instantly recovered from his tears and ogled at Tiffany with his normal lascivious expression. " _Trust me_ , I've had _more pie_ than _Rosie O'Donnell_!"

Phoenix literally face palmed at that one.

Completely oblivious, Larry shamelessly continued.

"And _I_ remember _you_ as the sexy waitress that night of Maya's birthday! _Damn girl_ , like a fine wine, you've only improved with age!" Larry's eyes travelled admiringly over the blonde's statuesque physique. "You look _just_ as good, _covered up_ , as you do in that _itty bitty uniform_ , which let me tell ya, is the stuff _naughty dreams are made of!"_

"For the love of all that is holy, _please_ stop, Larry!" Phoenix begged as Tiffany silently gaped at the artist in disbelief. "You're _completely overcompensating_ here!"

"Hey _you_ may not off the market, but _I'm_ not! Your friend here is _smokin' hot_ , Nick!"

"Er, as flattering as all this is…" Tiffany interjected awkwardly. "I do believe y'all were sayin' yew were looking for _over the shoulder boulder holders_ for yer little girl, Phoenix?"

"Yes, yes I am!" Phoenix responded quickly, eager to get back to business. "Like I said, she's 13."

"So obviously, nowhere near _your_ league, of course," Larry leered, his tongue wagging as he gestured to Tiffany's ample bust. "You're at least what, a 36 DD right?"

"Not bad," Tiffany grinned, proudly thrusting out her chest even more for inspection. "34 DD actually. That was a good guess, mister. Ya want a job here?"

"Well when you've had as much _experience_ with the _female form_ as I have both painting and _otherwise,_ it _comes naturally_ ," Larry bragged. "I'm an artist, you see."

Tiffany opted to disregard this and kept her eyes on Phoenix, all professional mode again.

"So I reckon this is her first foundation garment?" she asked.

"Yup," he nodded. "Mine too, actually..."

Tiffany's eyebrows nearly disappeared into her hairline.

"I _swear_ to you this _is_ for _her_ ," he added hastily. "I meant, it's _my_ first time, buying _Trucy_ a foundation garment."

"I'd hope so! If we _were_ shopping for something for _those_ mighty pecs of _yers_ , Phoenix, I'd reckon _maybe_ a 38A!" Tiffany winked as he started blushing again and began expertly flipping through the rows of boxes on the table Larry had abandoned. "What size is she?"

"I'm afraid I don't know her size…" Phoenix scratched the back of his head. "She um, takes about a 5.5 roller skate?"

Tiffany arched a brow at him.

"I have no clue!" His blush deepened as he stared back at her helplessly. "She's a 13-year-old girl size?"

"I gotcha." Tiffany held up a box, pulled the garment out, and held it up for inspection. " _This_ here is our most popular early teen and preteen model."

" _Really_?" Larry snickered. "It looks like a _surgical bandage_!"

Tiffany sighed and once again kept her focus on Phoenix, who glared at his friend.

"Does your daughter need something larger then?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Hmmm….this one here is purty," she offered, holding up another box. "It's got a little pink bow."

"I don't know about pink bows." Phoenix scrunched up his face and shook his head. "It's kinda fancy; I don't usually like that kind of stuff…"

"But y'all _claim_ ya _aren't_ shopping for _yerself_ , right?" Tiffany waved her finger at him playfully. "Yer thinking like a _man_ , Phoenix. Yer _supposed_ to be thinking like a 13-year-old girl!"

"I'm having a hard time thinking like a _31-year-old father_!" Phoenix groaned. "We'll um, just take that first one you showed us, OK?"

"Excellent choice," Tiffany beamed, headed towards the cash register. "It's the one I started out with."

"When you were 13?" Phoenix asked.

"No suga, bless yer heart!" Tiffany let out a tinkling laugh, gesturing towards her buxom figure again. "When I was _9_! By the time I was 13, I was up to a _34 C_!"

"No kidding!" Larry let out a wolf whistle of appreciation. "I totally would have been hitting on you if you'd been in my class!"

" _All_ the boys did, suga," Tiffany flashed him a wink and a flirty smile. "And evidently, they _still_ do!"

* * *

 _ **Phoenix Wright and Trucy Wright**_ _  
Wright Talent Agency_  
October 14, 2024 10:30 pm

"Here you go, baby girl," Phoenix handed Trucy the package when Larry dropped them home after she was done work that night. "I hope it fits."

"You're the _best_ , Daddy!" Trucy excitedly tore into the bag, pulled the bra out of the box, and held it up for inspection. Her face fell with disappointment. "Oh. Thanks, Daddy."

"What's wrong, Truce?" Phoenix asked nervously, noting her crestfallen expression. "Did I get the wrong size?"

"No, it's the right _size_ ," she answered. "It's just…I kinda wanted the same one as Jinxie has, with the little pink bow on it."

"You _wanted_ the pink bow?" Phoenix bit back a curse. "Why's that?"

"Because everyone's going to see it!"

" _Hold it_!" He pointed a stern finger at his daughter. "It's enough that you wave your magic _panties_ in public, Missy! _Who_ , pray tell, is going to see your _bra_?"

" _Everyone_ , Daddy! All the girls in gym class and at the slumber parties…"

"Oh, I see." He expelled a huge breath of relief.

"You just don't _get_ it, Daddy," Trucy explained patiently. "You _have_ to have the little pink bow."

"It's fine, Truce." Phoenix cleared his throat. "I'll go someplace else and get you a bra with your little pink bow."

"Why go through all that jazz, Daddy? Why don't you just take that one back to where you got it from?"

Phoenix's eyes widened in horror at the thought.

"No way in _hell_ …" he caught himself in time as Trucy stared at him.

 _Return it to where I bought it, though?! Not in a million years!_ _Perish the thought!_

"I mean, nope! It's fine!" He insisted. "Really, it's um, good to have more than one, anyway."

"I hope it wasn't too much trouble, Daddy."

 _Trouble? Nah! I just wound up at the snooty, overpriced department store where my_ _ **bawdy**_ _,_ _ **overly friendly**_ _neighborhood waitress worked, which I had to_ _ **con**_ _Larry into taking me to the_ _ **first place**_ _! Then I had to_ _ **physically restrain**_ _The Butz from taking off on me_ _ **like a bat out of hell**_ _, once he realized_ _ **what**_ _we needed to buy!_ _ **Then**_ _I endured the_ _ **humiliating experience of a lifetime**_ _of trying to_ _ **convince**_ _said_ _ **man-eater**_ _bar wench turned saleswoman that_ _ **no**_ _, I'm not_ _ **light in the loafers**_ _, and that I_ _ **do**_ _indeed_ _ **love women**_ _… but_ _ **not enough to wear their clothing**_ _as my alter ego, but I'm pretty sure she_ _ **still**_ _believes that_ _ **bra**_ _was for_ _ **me**_ _! And last but not least,_ _ **then**_ _I had to spend the rest of the night soothing Larry Butz's_ _ **wounded ego**_ _and_ _ **assuring**_ _ **him that**_ _ **I found him attractive,**_ _in order to get him to_ _ **stop crying**_ _, which he'd resumed the minute we left the store, and drive us home!_

"Don't give it another thought, Truce. What are fathers for?" Phoenix dropped a kiss on his daughter's forehead. "It was no trouble at all."


End file.
